


just

by schnaf



Series: im-prompt-u challenge [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, but hey. feels are great., my brain just goes like 'ok. feels. we don't need anything else.', so apparently if you ask me to keep it short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26779801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schnaf/pseuds/schnaf
Summary: Dan and Phil are friends. Not ‘just’ friends - they’re friends, there’s no doubt about that. And yet, Dan feels like he’s missing a piece.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: im-prompt-u challenge [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969618
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39
Collections: Im-PROMPT-u Phandom Creator Challenge 2020





	just

**Author's Note:**

> here i am again, with yet another contribution to the im-promptu-challenge! today, the prompt was "friendship".

It's the same question over and over again. Different wording, different phrasing, but at the root, it's the same question, _over_ and _over_ again.

"So, are you and Phil dating by now?", Dan's mom asks each time he drops by.

"Come on, you can't tell me there's nothing going on between you guys. You've got so much chemistry!", their friends claim on every single game night, when the game per se doesn't matter anymore, when they have turned to sipping a bit of wine and talking.

"Wait, Phil isn't your boyfriend?" Lucille, his new coworker, wonders when they go for a coffee together after work to finish their project and Phil strolls along because he went to pick up Dan.

The same question. And the answer stays the same too.

"No," Dan smiles. "We're friends."

Friends. Not 'just' friends even though it would make what he's implying clear, even though it would be a blatant sign. No, they're not 'just friends', they're friends, over and out. Their friendship doesn't deserve to get belittled by the addition of 'just' because it's not 'just' a friendship, it's one of the most important things in Dan's life. Why should he belittle their friendship if his best friend means the world to him? If Phil manages to cheer him up even in the darkest moments, if Phil gives him security whenever Dan feels like everything around him is crumbling? If being with Phil makes him feel free, if he can simply be himself around Phil, worries and mood swings and hyperfixations and all the annoying stuff included? If he knows Phil feels the same about him?

No, they're friends. Not 'just' friends.

But friends don't get jealous. Friends don't curse their friend's potential crush. Well, maybe they actually do, and Dan feels it's absolutely legitimate to worry about what would happen to their friendship if Phil got into a relationship - if Phil wasn't able to spend all his time, all his doting on him anymore. But it's more than that. It's the fear of being replaced, of losing a place he doesn't even inhibit.

But friends don't yearn that much. Friends should be okay with being apart for a while, especially if they're keeping in touch. He shouldn't bury their head in a pillow, trying to hide his screams because it feels so pathetic to long for Phil, for Phil's hug, for Phil's smell, for the feeling of Phil's chest rising and falling when he giggles as Dan rests his head on his chest.

But friends don't kiss. You don't tackle your best friend in the kitchen, pushing him against the fridge, staring into his eyes, knowing what will happen because there's no need you can hold back anymore, no, not this time. Dan shouldn't close his eyes and just let it happen, holding on to Phil, feeling so - no, not scared, not worried, because yes, it should feel wrong, but it doesn't, it simply doesn't, it feel so right, so in place, so -

But friends -

It takes Dan a quiet moment in Phil's arms to piece the puzzle together. An embrace that shouldn't even take place because friends don't cuddle like that, especially not if they just kissed. A quiet moment, listening to Phil's heartbeat, taking in his smell, feeling his warmth, feeling his fingers dancing on his shoulder. And suddenly, it's all crystal clear.

Friends are allowed to get jealous. Friends are allowed to yearn. Friends are allowed to kiss. And maybe, there's more to their friendship than 'just' friendship. Maybe their friendship doesn't deserve the label 'just', but maybe, at the same time, it's more than friendship.

They aren't 'just' friends. They are friends. But there’s more to it.

Dan knows one thing for sure: Phil is his friend and their friendship is so, _so_ precious to him.

And at the same time, he loves him.


End file.
